Holiday Blues

Holiday Blues

It’s the second week of December, and I’m in full Christmas season swing. Are you (if you observe Christmas)? I’m not doing a lot of decorating because we’re going away for Christmas. My husband and I are excited to be together again in person with our children and grandchild after celebrating on Zoom last year. 

As we prepare for the excitement of family time–exchanging gifts, creating special treats and activities–let’s remember that the holidays aren’t always a happy time for everyone. I was reminded of that last week when I started unpacking my Christmas decorations. My mom’s last Christmas was 2015. (It was also my last Christmas with my brother.) I did a lot of sewing and made many of my gifts that year because I was up caring for her most nights, or I couldn’t sleep, afraid I wouldn’t hear her when she called for me. I crafted a lot of Christmas trees out of styrofoam forms, fabric squares and straight pins. They were and still are really beautiful. If a friend or relative didn’t receive a tree, they got a handmade table runner that year. That was the last year I made all my gifts. When I took the trees out last week to display them, they brought tears and smiles and took me back to those long nights. I was blessed to care for my mom, and each year when I bring out the trees, time teaches me how to live with my memories. 

You may be wondering why I’m writing about sad memories during a supposedly happy season. But it’s important to remember that it may not be a happy time for everyone. We may see others smiling; however, deep down they could be hurting, and it could be taking everything they have not to cry. 

I have friends who’ve had lasting effects from Covid; others have health issues keeping them from holiday activity and cheer. Some have lost their spouses, their pet companions, their jobs, or their children won’t be coming home for the holidays. I want to be aware of the people around me who may be feeling sad. My prayer is that I won’t be so busy I don’t notice. I want to take the time to stop, look and listen. A simple smile, a touch, a card, a call or text can make a difference in someone’s life, especially for those who find this season to be difficult. 

If you’re having a hard time this season, please take time for yourself. If you need to rest, decline an invitation. Give yourself permission to say no; listen to what your body and mind are telling you. You may want to talk to a friend or find a support group or spend more time in prayer and reading. The first year after my mom passed, I didn’t want to cook for Thanksgiving or decorate for Christmas, and I didn’t. My family was gracious to me, and let me grieve the way I needed to. It’s different for everyone; what you need for comfort might differ from someone else. Your heavenly Father loves you so tell him how you are hurting, He’ll give you the grace to walk through the Christmas season. Life is fragile, so be kind to others and to yourself. And cherish all the beautiful memories.

13 Comments

  1. Tanya G.

    Dear Coach Marie and other readers in response to topic of “holiday blues”…acknowledging a variety of losses some related to community friends and others from isolation for various reasons. While I relate to ya’ll regarding losses on journey with compassion, understand Marie’s point we experience scenarios differently. I also wanted to share that in my experience, while these painful losses seem to have impacted my physical, emotional, mental, spiritual as well as financial well-being, some have been for the better and others provided learning and growth experience opportunity.

  2. Linda Vainella

    Y s I am smiling on the outside but inside there is grief. I know for certain I will see my mother my daughter in paradise, but I miss them terribly. Have some dear friends whom I have lost also. I remember one Christmas my mom was in hospital. We brought her presents and some good food to visit. So yes I am celebrating the birthday of Christ, Imanuuel! And I am happy for that.

  3. Audrey Ulmer

    Absolutely beautiful…Yes, so many people are struggling this year in so many areas of life. In just my circle there are major health battles with family members, my sister and I are still feeling the loss of her middle son and our mother( only months apart), separation of family members, loss of jobs, people taking care of sick/elderly family members, depression/anxiety, addiction…etc. SO we absolutely do not know what everyone around us is going through. So yes, we must take notice- esp THIS Christmas more than ever. Thank you for the beautiful reminder to be the light in someone’s world…take time for others or yourself. Thank you for another thought provoking blog. You truly amaze me with your lovely words of inspiration always….esp loved the line ” time teaches me how to live with my memories’ Really hit my heart. XO

  4. Pauline Bellamy

    Yes, you hit on a very important fact. Not everyone is in a celebratory mood. I wasn’t last year and didn’t decorate. This year, I will do it in memory of Charlie. I bought a special piece with a cardinal to have in his memory. Seeing that lit up each night brings me comfort. I will join the hospice zoom and show his ornament that will grace out tree. He loved Christmas and would want us to remember him on this Blessed Holy Day. Prayers to all those going through a difficult time during this special Season.

  5. Donna Wilson

    Yes, this will be a different Christmas, as I will be self quarantining due to mega doses of steroids. This will decrease my immune system. So as not to get a cold or other illness, I will be taking precautions.
    I do wish all a Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year.

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