First Christmas Tree

Thank you for responding with all of your great ideas for giving back to others during this Christmas season. Giving to a local food bank; leaving candy and cards on neighbors’ porches; gift cards or cookies for the mailman and garbage men; listening to someone; sending cards; giving to caregivers; and sharing our most precious gift—time. Your kindness to others will spread the spirit of the season: peace, joy, love and hope.

Like that little tree, I’m not perfect. We found a way to love and accept the tree we’d bought; to help it stand straight and bring much joy and happiness to our first Christmas. Just like the tree, the love, value and care that I receive from God and from family and friends helps me to stand tall. Being and accepting myself for who I am only and nothing less—rather than striving for perfectionism—gives me the strength to get through each day. I don’t have to be perfect or ignore the “crooked” feelings that sometimes stir within me in order to be beautiful. 

One thing I love about Christmas is finding the perfect tree. Our first tree was a tabletop spruce pine. It was perfect, or so we thought. On the outside, the color, the smell, the branches and size were just right. However, when we got the tree home and put it in the tree stand, it was far from perfect. The trunk was crooked and wouldn’t stand up in the tree stand properly. To straighten it, we would’ve had to cut the tree in half. Being young and creative, we decided instead to engineer a way to straighten it without changing the tree. We put the tree on a table in front of a sliding glass door. We cut off the top of a ShopRite grape soda can, and Hank drilled holes on each side of the can. Then we wrapped a fishing line (because it was invisible) around the tree, threaded it through the holes in the soda can, and tied it to the door handle. This fix pulled the tree straight. With care and some creative thinking, we had the perfect first tree. We decorated it with love, and it was beautiful.

My husband, Hank, and I will be celebrating our fifty-second Christmas as a married couple this year. Honestly, I don’t know where the time went!

As I was reminiscing about our first tree, I couldn’t help but think about the times in my life when I’ve felt a lot like that little tree: well-put together on the outside, but a bit “crooked” on the inside—hiding pain, sadness, loneliness, disappointments, grief or heartbreak. Unlike the tree, I can’t be put into a soda can and tied to a sliding glass door to “straighten” me up. It would be nice if life was that simple. “Crooked” times in my life have taught me that I don’t have to be perfect to be accepted and loved. Learning to accept my flaws is part of learning to accept and love myself. This gives me the courage and strength to stand tall. On days that I feel “crooked,” it helps when I journal about my feelings, pray, do something creative, or do something for someone else. I also rely on my relationship with Jesus to help me when the “crooked” days inevitably come. 

With my hope in Him, I can stand taller when feelings, experiences or circumstances knock me down. 

God created us as we are, and that’s what makes us unique. He doesn’t expect us to be perfect. Our beauty comes from the inside, from our hearts. With God’s love, and our own self-acceptance and care, we can stand straight and tall. 

If you ever feel like our first little tree with the crooked trunk, remember:  

You are seen

You are known 

You are loved by God

Stand tall!