The Art of Self-Care, Part One

Webster’s defines self-care as “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health,” or “the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness during periods of stress.”

Self-care has taken on a whole new meaning since the start of the pandemic. Prior to the spring, I was eating healthy, exercising, reading, going to bed earlier, and overall, feeling more relaxed and not stressed. My days had a good routine. As the news of the pandemic’s spread unfolded, things started to change. The shift happened slowly, and I didn’t notice it at first, but by the second month of lockdown, I stopped doing what I needed to do to care for myself. 

Now, six months later, I’m asking myself why I let this happen. Why, when I had the time to get into the best physical shape, didn’t I? Why did I instead do the opposite? Eat more, move less, and gain weight? I ask these questions not to beat myself up, but to better know myself. When I know why, I have more clarity about myself. 

Did I stop because I had an excuse—the lockdown—or was life changing too fast everyday? My daughter and grandson moved in with us, escaping the pandemic’s epicenter in New York City. We purchased and baked a lot of comfort foods as a means of coping with all the adjustments and stresses taking place. Everyday was a new “normal” with officials updating rules and regulations as thousands fell ill and lost their lives. It was hard to find an equilibrium. 

Then, as the lockdown progressed and weeks turned into months, boredom set in, and I got into a rut. Every day was the same. I was working from home, sitting three hours before my first break. I wasn’t exercising as much, I was staying up too late, and I was eating more so out of boredom than hunger. Even though I knew I was the only one responsible for taking care of myself, I didn’t have the energy or desire to do so. Like a car stuck in the mud, I dug myself into a deeper rut as I went through my day. I had a choice and often didn’t make the right one. It was easier to give into my stress and boredom. 

I’ve been journaling about my reactions to the massive and difficult adjustments we’ve all had to make in our lives in response to the pandemic. It’s helped me understand how and why I got stuck when everything turned upside down in an instant, when everything felt so out of control. But even more, it’s helped me to expand my definition of self-care. It’s not just what you’re eating and how much you’re exercising and sleeping, although all very important. It can take on other forms of “protecting one’s own well-being and happiness during periods of stress.”

I realized that self-care also meant maintaining a safe home environment—a home large enough to extend housing to keep my children safe; a home where I could continue my work from the comfort of my home office; a home with a large yard where we could go outside and safely enjoy fresh air. We also discovered (or rediscovered) new ways of being like planning menus and home cooked dinners around the table with the entire family, or celebrating birthdays outside at a safe distance with our neighbors on our cul-de-sac.

In this way, self-care took new meaning beyond what I thought it “should” be. Instead, it’s taught me that it’s okay to feel and experience everything going on in and around me, and to do my best to navigate it all.

How do you define self-care? What have you learned about caring for yourself and your family during the pandemic? Please share in the comments below.